Sam has a conversation

Sam, his baby sister Laura, and I went to an autism fair recently. There were vendors from many different service providers, educational institutions and support groups there. It was refreshing just to be around so many other parents who were facing the same thing I am: rearing a child with autism.

The best part of this fair was by far, the conversations Sam had with each exhibitor. He gained valuable social skills in an accepting environment. When we were leaving though, there was a lady with her teen son, who has autism, trying to get in their car to go home. They had parked on the street beside the sidewalk, like I did, and she was trying desperately to fold a stroller and put it in the trunk. She asked me as we were walking by for help and I stopped to help her. I don't know why it takes a rocket scientist to fold a stroller, but apparantly it took one to build it. So there you go.

While I was working on the stroller, the lady mentioned that she was babysitting her friend's baby and had to bring him and her son to the fair. I was in the same boat, kindof, but Laura is 12 months old and mine. She was in a stroller on the sidewalk, and I had asked Sam to please keep an eye on her as I manhandled the lady's stroller.

After a couple seconds, I realized that her son and Sam were chatting. They were both big strapping guys and about the same age. Her son said, "So. How old's your baby? This one," he pointed to the baby in the carseat, "is three months." He stood even taller. This was obviously a fact of pride to the young man.

Sam met his stance and said proudly, "My baby is twelve months."

The other boy's shoulders slumped, I noticed as I peeked while trying to fold her stroller. He then said, "Well then. Does your baby ride in the car facing the back, or the front."

Sam met his gaze. "In the front."

"Mmmph! Does your baby take a bottle?!"

Sam said, "Only at bedtime."

The kid had him, or so he thought. "Boy!....or girl?"

Sam said, "Girl."

"Oh man!" the kid said loudly. He looked desperate.

Sam said, "Does your baby....crawl?"

The kid looked at him in this weird game of Baby Poker. The stakes were high; Sam held all the cards. Sam stood proudly, raised an arm and pumped it: "I WIN." The stroller flattened.

The kid said with feeling, "Oh MAN!" and got in the car.

Sam looked at me and smiled. "I like having a baby sister now," he said.

Bedwetting

Bedwetting at any age is frustrating. The constant changing of sheets, the laundry....the smell...but for teens with autism it can be an everyday occurance. If the teen battles chronic constipation, you can almost guarantee that bedwetting comes with that, simply because of the pressure compacted bowels puts on the bladder.

What we've done with Sam, who battles chronic constipation and bedwetting, is to treat the constipation through stool softeners and laxatives. This gets things going. Limiting the amount of liquids (like after 6 p.m. for example) helps too.

Sam's bedwetting has ruined two twin mattresses. We would put the mattresses in those vinyl mattress covers, put his sheets on them -- and inevitably he would tear open the vinyl and sleep under it on top of the mattress....and pee on it.

Instead, now, we purchased a vinyl air mattress that he can sleep on. We make sure we put a cloth mattress cover on it for comfort, plus sheets. But now, when he wets the bed, there's just the cover and sheets to wash instead of steam-cleaning a mattress or replacing it. He has learned to haul out the mattress to sun and dry on the deck, after he's sprayed it with cleaner designed to kill urine smells (this is often found in the pet department for puppy mishaps).