Cleaning doorknobs

Summertime. The 3 oldest kids (16, 13, 12) are out of school and at home, and the 14-month old has plenty of distractions to keep her from taking a daily nap. On one hand, I know the kids like having a break from school; at the same time, I have to be even more creative in getting them to do anything except just lie around being tv spuds and computer hogs.

Chores in the summer are also hard. I am a firm believer that all kids need chores -- after all, chores build character and add responsibility, and they live here too (read: I'm their mom, not their maid). So this summer, I came up with an idea: Helping Sticks. I took jumbo-sized popsicle sticks and on the end of each one, wrote a different chore. Two chores per three teens times five days equal thirty sticks. I have everything on them: empty DW, load DW, vacuum living room, clean hall bath, weed garden, dust, sweep kitchen floor, mop kitchen floor, etc.

By about the 27th stick, I was losing momentum. Sure, I duplicated some chores, like vacuum, dishwasher loading/unloading, sweeping, mopping. I even made two "weed the garden" and two "water flowers in front." But by the 27th stick --- well, I was beginning to give out.

So, I looked at the person next to me: Sam. Sam was sitting beside me on the sofa as I did this. He was watching some tv show. So, during a commericial break, I muted the tv and told Sam what I was doing. And I prayed that he would understand, as sometimes, frankly, he doesn't. But this time I asked him, "Can you name me three chores?"

"Empty dishwasher," he said, for this was usually his chore.

"I have that one."

"Oh," he said. "Scoop cat box?"

"Ok, didn't have that one." I wrote that on a stick.

"Sweep front porch," he said, clicking the mute off. His program was back on.

I wrote down "sweep front porch" and put my thinking cap back on. Then, even though his program was on, Sam hit mute. "Clean doorknobs."

"What?" I said.

"Clean doorknobs with anti-germ wipes. Keeps the germs off the doorknobs and off our hands."

I had never thought of that. I wrote down the 30th chore and thanked Sam, who immediately went back to the tv show.

Last night was Sunday, and we gathered the family together. Using a days of the week dry erase board, I had each teen pick a stick, and I wrote down the chore beside the kids' names. One chore for the morning, one in the afternoon. The last Helper Stick Sam chose just happened to be "clean doorknobs."

I have to say he was excited about that. I don't think that it had anything to do with the helper stick or chore, but everything to do that I took his suggestion and actually used it. It was validation for him that, despite autism and everything else, he really is a viable and important part of this family, and he can contribute. I would have to say that's empowering for any person, disabled or not.